At the office we consistently talk about the importance of fostering solid business relationships, and how they are no different than the relationships we develop in our personal and social lives. There are certainly good times to develop business relationships, and absolutely bad times as well. Here’s some quick tips on how you can foster positive business relationships and drive your business forward.

Start by establishing who you want to develop a relationship with, perform some research on the individual via social media or your current network and see if you know someone else you can use as a referral. This way, when you approach the individual you will already know something about them.

Business isn’t about telling people about yourself, it’s not about you at all! Ask the individual the right questions. Ask them questions until they are tired of answering and then proceed with answering their questions. Plus, all the questions you ask them initially will help you to know if continuing to develop the relationship will be worthwhile. You may find that you have a lot in common, or nothing at all. But that’s okay, even if you don’t hit it off you can refer that person to someone else who may be a better fit for them.

Once you establish a connection, re-connect with them and follow-up to see if they are still interested in fostering the relationship. Try not to show up unexpectedly, unless you are really well acquainted. There is little difference in going on personal dates and collaborating with other business professionals (other than the physical expectations of courting another person). You find similarities, ask important questions, work together, build trust, and genuinely care about the other business professional. If your goal is something other than working together to support one another, you should probably try another type of business.

The most popular question I get from friends, family, business partners, clients, etc. is: “where do you find the time?”

For those who don’t know, I am not only the founder of Preferences, but also the founder of AppDev Peterborough, an avid Judo athlete at the Trent Judo Club, a musician with The Crux, a community volunteer for the City of Peterborough Youth Commission and New Canadian’s Centre, and a one-to-one worker with youth through the Youth Emergency Shelter. Also, I teach and grade papers at Trent University during the school year. So, where do I find the time to do all of those things and still have time to spend time with my wife Elizabeth, my Goddaughter Madeleine and family and friends?

To be quite honest, I’m not quite sure; however, I can tell you that my house does not have a television, I get 8 solid hours of sleep each night and I treat all of my professional aspirations like a hobby. What I mean by “hobby” is that I have to love what I am doing so that I can spend my entire day, from morning to evening, working on all the things that will lead me to success. Don’t get me wrong, I need some time away from work too, and I do that through music, Judo, spending time with friends and family, and I always try to keep my work outside of those times. The secret ingredient is to perform my hobbies to the absolute best of my abilities.

The pivotal point in my life was when I was 21-years old. I was an avid gamer until one day I quit cold turkey. I threw out my gaming system (Nintendo 64) and even deleted minesweeper and solitaire off of my computers. That is when I became heavily involved in student politics, music, work, and other productive things. Still today, I see people who are heavily entrenched in escaping reality in a variety of ways and wonder how successful they would be if they made their “hobby” their life.

It seems like I am always adding something and rarely taking things away from my daily activities. Perhaps I am becoming better at managing my “hobbies” and learning when to say no to certain activities. In the near future, I will be adding another “hobby” called Politics, where I will be collaborating with people across Ontario to form the next political order. It sounds big, but if I make it just another thing that I love doing, it may just pay off at some point in the future.

Paul Teleki, Founder of Preferences

Today, the boys and men of Peterborough Walked a Mile in Her Shoes: the international men’s march to stop rape, sexual assault & gender violence. The walk was organized by the YWCA of Peterborough, Victoria and Haliburton, with proceeds supporting the Crossroads emergency Shelter.

This was my second time walking in solidarity with the women in my community. It is difficult to explain the spectrum of emotions I felt throughout the day.

I can say that this experience is a valuable one and should be shared with other men. Maybe I will never truly understand the struggle women face, but I feel this experience has brought me just a little bit closer.

The way it all unfolded was quite interesting.

There was a moment of uncertainty, shyness and even embarrassment when we first got to the registration area. The idea of emasculating ourselves by wearing heels in a colour society deems as feminine was not easy to get over. Those awkward feelings soon passed as we saw other men in the same situation – some even started having fun with it! The encouraging smiles of the supportive women around us also helped make the transition into the red heels that much easier.

By the way, I have a lot of respect for the man who arrived early and strapped on his heels with no other men around to comfort him!

As I grew accustomed to my new shoes, I told myself “This isn’t too bad, I can do this!” And then the walk down two of the busiest streets in downtown Peterborough began. I found myself surrounded by my fellow high-heeled men and supportive women, along with hundreds of other spectators that included men, women and children. The atmosphere was supportive and we even found ourselves having fun with the hecklers! Even though downtown Peterborough was packed with many men in red heels, the day was not about us.

Shortly after the start of the walk, we started to feel the pain. Our toes, ankles, calves, knees and lower backs were hurting! But then I realized this pain was nothing compared to the emotional and physical pain women and children have endured at the hands of patriarchy and society for centuries!

After all, what we experienced was just a mile in her shoes.

As the pain intensified, I began to realize and reflect on the idea of struggle from the perspective of women. This is why I believe this is something more men need to experience.

Walk A Mile in Her Shoes provides men an opportunity to willingly learn more about the plight of women and the programs of the YWCA in a fun and supportive environment. It allows men to stand up for violence against women by making both a symbolic and a financial contribution.

Walking in her shoes results in empathy. It highlights the need to bring ourselves away from society’s narrow definition of how to be a man and to think more about what men and women can achieve together.

Paul Teleki, Founder of Preferences